My sister and I are opposites in almost every way, but the most obvious one has always been that she is an extrovert and I am an introvert. She has always been outgoing and gregarious, talks energetically (and incessantly), and has never met a stranger that I can recall.
We all know people like this. Perhaps you are one yourself. For these people, networking is not a skill to be acquired but a natural inborn tendency that is harder to shut off than turn on.
And then there are us introverts. 
Bless our hearts.
In our world, everyone is pretty much a stranger, so we meet strangers constantly. We may be able to talk incessantly, but only after we find our comfort zone and we get rolling. And as for outgoing – well, only by wheedling, manipulation, and arm-twisting.
Therein lies the rub, because in our careers, it is almost an absolute requirement in order to get ahead, that some form of networking must be pursued.
As a resolute introvert, I’ve found some ways to go about it that make it not only possible but even enjoyable and successful.
First, let’s look at the word itself. Introvert comes from two Latin words meaning “to the inside” (intro) and “to turn to” or “toward” (vertere). So while we tend to assume that an introvert is defined as a shy person, it in actuality refers to a person who naturally turns inward rather than outward. Introverts are therefore often thinkers, analyzers, people who are taking in and assessing data about the people and environments around them. Rather than an automatic drawback, this can be a valuable tool in relationships, particularly new ones.
But we introverts probably need a few tips to help us be successful at networking:
- Get a Wingman or Woman. Do you remember Maverick’s big lesson in the movie Top Gun? “Never leave your wingman.” Taking along a loyal and properly coached extrovert can help you in making connections with new people by taking advantage of their natural lack of scruples about meeting strangers. But make sure to agree in advance that you are working together for both of you to network successfully and decide on your steps to accomplish this. For example, once the extrovert breaks the ice, make sure they don’t forget to introduce or draw attention to the introvert in your dynamic duo.
Example: “Oh, you’re interested in football too? This is my friend Jane who loves the SEC and never misses a game! I bet you have a lot in common.”
- Ask a Question. Have several open-ended questions at the ready to ask when you encounter or are introduced to someone new. Be sure to select questions that require more than a yes-or-no answer and express an interest in the other person. This will accomplish several useful ends: (1) It will tell you something about the person to help you determine if there is mutual benefit in building upon the relationship; (2) It will alleviate the pressure of your having to talk as much, especially if the other person turns out to be an extrovert; (3) It will give the other person a good impression because it indicates your interest in them – but be sure to LISTEN to them; and (4) It will usually open the door for the other person to ask you about yourself and give you a chance to promote your interests.
Example: “What is your field of expertise?” “What organization are you with?” “Are you from this city originally?” “What brings you to this event?”
- Give a compliment. Everyone loves to be complimented! But be sure that it is genuine! (Millenials particularly are known for low tolerance of insincerity, but most people don’t like mere flattery.) Giving a compliment on something easily observable is a great way to break the ice. Not only will it illicit the other person’s gratitude, but the recipient will often then talk about the thing being complimented, moving the conversation forward. And chances are others will hear and join in, bringing even more good will and appreciation because now you have made them the star for a few moments.
Example: “I love your dress/tie. Where did you get it?” “This is a nice event.” (directed to those who host or help put it on) “This is a nice event, isn’t it?” (directed at any attendee – the compliment may not be for them but it gives them something to respond to) “I really like what you said in your panel discussion on ___________.”
A little preparation can make networking for introverts less like a fish-out-of-water experience. Most introverts are pretty good conversationalists once they get going, and any of these can help start the ball rolling.
But one final thought:
Don’t omit the most important part of networking, which is to leave with at least one new connection. Be sure to exchange business cards so you can follow up at a later date. If you or the other person doesn’t have a card, exchange Linkedin profiles on your smart phone. (I know you both have one of those!)
- Exchange Linkedin Profiles. Open Linkedin app. At the top, click the icon in the right side of the Search bar that looks like four small squares in a square pattern. Click on My Code, and the QR for your profile will appear. The other person can scan this to get your profile. Now click on Scan and Enable Camera Access to scan the other person’s profile. (Be sure to have a well-completed profile with contact information before going to your event!)
Now you are all set to have a successful networking experience. And you don’t even have to become at extrovert to do it!
Enterprising Community 